Blog on Divorce and Family Law
Learning some basic information about divorce and family law can help prepare you for the legal issues you face. Our attorneys believe that honest advice, straight talk and some basic legal knowledge can make a big difference. A legal issue is a two-sided coin ─ your side versus the other side. Our job is to apply our knowledge, skills and experience to help you get the results you want. However, that doesn’t mean there is no participation on your part. You have important decisions to make that affect your future. The better you understand, the better you are at making smart decisions.
We hope you find our blog useful. Of course, forming a client-attorney relationship is the only way to receive legal advice, and these posts are not intended as legal advice nor the establishment of a client-attorney relationship.
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The challenges spouses face with a second or third family are common because people frequently remarry after divorce. And when they do, more people are involved in their lives.
As pointed out in the article “How Can Couples Avoid the Pitfalls that Threaten a Second Marriage?” (Huffington Post), more players are now in your life — ex-spouses, step children, your current spouse and your children — along with all the extended family members, including four or more sets of grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. This bigger cast of characters opens up the possibilities of more conflicts, rivalries and breakdowns in communication.
Working out child custody arrangements means getting the ex and kids to agree on how to spend holidays and vacations. Finances become strained when you’re providing child support for several families of children. It may be hard to get onto the same page with your parenting styles too, which are often quite different.
So — How Do You Deal with These Challenges with a Second or Third Family?
The most important thing that one expert suggests is to develop a mindset of endurance. Don’t give up and stay the course. This alone can create stability.
Other suggestions include:
- Keeping communication open for all family members so you can find solutions to problems.
- Taking time off — at minimum several weekends — where you and your spouse spend time alone with each other.
- Being aware of red flags and seeking counseling if situations become intense.
- Expecting the rough times and being prepared to deal with them, especially during holidays and special occasions like birthdays, graduations and weddings.
Having problems with child support or custody post-divorce? Discuss them with a divorce lawyer.
If you’re struggling with child support or custody situations, discuss this concern with one of our attorneys at C.E. Borman & Associates. Sometimes circumstances change, and modifying child support or child custody orders becomes necessary. You can rely on our compassionate legal counsel to help you make the right decisions.
It may not come as a surprise that social media, cheating and divorce are often linked with each other.
Links Between Social Media Use and Divorce
In 2014, CNBC discussed the results of a study published in the Journal Computers in Human Behavior. Researchers asked couples about marriage quality and social media use. They analyzed data using various models, and each model showed that there was a link between decreased marriage quality and social media use.
Links Between Social Media and Cheating
In November 2016, The Chicago Tribune published an article where a licensed psychotherapist and sociology professor both gave their expert opinions. Each said that social media made infidelity much easier — just a click away — and it even opened up the cheating playing field to people across the globe.
Cheating Online Is Just as Devastating as In-Person Cheating
Jaclyn Cravens is in the Marriage & Family Therapy Program at Texas Tech University. She conducted research that reviewed situations where clients in monogamous relationships discovered their partner had cheated. They found out their partners were exchanging sexually suggestive messages with someone online through a social networking site. The main site that came up was Facebook. The emotional impact was just as severe as if the partner had committed acts in-person.
Anthony Weiner, a former politician, got caught several times cheating when he used Facebook and Twitter. As a result, he lost his marriage, his seat in Congress and his chances of becoming the Mayor of New York City.
Some people are able to still work out their marriages when cheating occurs. But for many others, it’s the end of the relationship.
Considering Divorce? Talk with One of Our Attorneys
Before you decide on divorce, it’s wise to discuss it with a divorce lawyer so you know what’s involved and the challenges you’ll face. If you have questions about divorce, our attorneys at C.E. Borman & Associates are glad to advise you.
Addictions and divorce often go hand in hand. This is especially true when the partner with an addiction is in denial about it and the other partner decides life with an addict is intolerable.
Types of Addictions
Addiction comes in various forms, and people sometimes have more than one addiction. For example, a gambler may also be an alcoholic, or a drug addict may also have a sex addiction (such as internet pornography).
The website Livestrong.com lists 10 criteria for diagnosing pathological gambling and a person only needs to exhibit five or more characteristics to have a gambling addiction:
- Preoccupation with gambling
- Inability to stop gambling, despite best efforts
- Irritability when trying to cut back on gambling
- The need to wager larger sums
- Gambling to relieve stress or escape from problems
- Constant attempts to break even or recover losses
- Lying to others about the severity of the gambling problem
- Relying on others for money to pay gambling debts
- Risking personal or professional relationships due to gambling
- Committing crimes to enable gambling
Many of these characteristics could be applied to other addictions as well, for example, by substituting the word alcohol, drugs or pornography for gambling.
These characteristics are the red flags that alert a spouse to the problem and help them realize the problem they face is a partner who has an addiction.
Psychology Today published an article that estimated the number of people with addictions in the United States:
- 12-13 million alcoholics
- 1-2 million cocaine addicts
- 8 million with eating disorders
- 2 million pathological gamblers
- 4-6 million problem gamblers
Addiction doesn’t always make divorce inevitable, especially if the addict is willing to go through treatment and overcomes the addiction. Some people decide to divorce and some decide to live with the problem. Generally, the threat of divorce is not a strong enough impetus to force an addict to get treatment. However, that also depends on the level that the addictive illness has reached. For some addicts, the threat of divorce is rock bottom and is enough for them to seek treatment.
C.E. Borman & Associates is a law firm that helps people with estate planning, probate, family law, divorce and other related issues.
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