Child custody disputes are one of most emotionally taxing experiences a person can face. Under the Texas Family Code, courts are focused on the best interest of the child, and certain accidental behaviors can quickly derail your case.
If you’re not sure how to set yourself up for the best outcome in your custody case, Channa Borman, head attorney at C. E. Borman, can advise the best way forward, with extensive experience in mediation and litigation throughout the Brazos Valley.
Our firm understands that what you do outside the courtroom matters just as much as what happens inside it. Here are ten of the most common ways we’ve seen parents unintentionally escalate their custody battles.
1. Social Media Venting
Divorce is a lonely battle because the person you once shared every feeling and thought with became the one on the other side of the legal fence. Here’s where some people make the mistake of seeking support from friends online.
The problem is that cryptic updates or outright criticism of your ex-spouse can stand as evidence against you in court. In Texas, judges look for parents who can support a positive relationship between the child and the other parent. Posts that show hostility can suggest that you are unwilling to co-parent effectively (even if you feel the opposite is true).
2. Negative Talk About the Other Parent in Front of Children
It doesn’t matter if you believe your comments are justified. Speaking ill of the other parent to your child can be viewed as parental alienation, which is red flag behavior in the eyes of judges that may interfere with custody or visitation claims.
3. Not Following the Order Rules (Right of First Refusal)
Even deviating from the schedule you have in place by an hour without written agreement can lead to a Motion for Enforcement. You can always seek modifications if an order is no longer functional, but you have to go the legal route to avoid the serious penalties that come with violating a court order.
Pro tip from Channa Borman: The Right of First Refusal is a clause that states the parent in charge must offer their time to the other parent before they call a babysitter or relative if they can’t be present for a period decided in the custody agreement.
Don’t make these mistakes:
- Thinking that a grandparent doesn’t count as childcare.
- Hiring a sitter without calling your ex first.
- Forgetting that the specific time period for this rule is unique to your case. If you don’t follow these rules, you risk fines, paying the other parent’s legal fees, or even jail time for contempt.
4. Introducing New Romantic Partners Too Quickly
Divorce looks different for everyone. In some cases, the couple has been separated for an extended period leading up to it. For one of the parents, introducing the child to a new partner feels like the next natural step as they leave their old life behind. But it can lead to unnecessary litigation when it happens during a pending custody case.
Your family law attorney will be able to advise on morality clauses regarding overnight guests while your child is present if you or your ex are actively seeing someone.
5. Excessive or Aggressive Texting
It’s best to keep all communication between you and your ex solely about your kids – brief, friendly, and firm in your boundaries. Sending fifty texts in an hour or using profanity when you’re feeling emotional creates a digital paper trail that can be used to portray you as unstable.
That’s where co-parenting apps like Our Family Wizard come in to document all your communication and keep it professional.
6. Moving Without Proper Notice
Most Texas custody orders include a geographic restriction that limits the child’s primary residence to a specific county or contiguous counties. Failure to abide without providing the court-required notice or obtaining a legal modification may negatively affect your custody claim after divorce:
- Modification of the visitation schedule to account for new travel times and costs.
- Emergency custody or no-contact orders can drastically shift the litigation against you.
7. Withholding Visitation Due to Finances
In Texas, child support and visitation are legally separate issues, which means you can’t deny a parent their court-ordered time just because they are behind on payments. In fact, doing so puts you in contempt of court.
8. Not Prioritizing Mental Health
A custody battle is just as stressful for the children involved. It’s for this reason that ignoring your own mental health or failing to address your child’s psychological needs can be detrimental to a successful coparenting journey.
9. Making the Child the Messenger
Asking a child to “tell your dad he needs to pay up” or “ask your mom who she is dating” puts an unfair burden on the child. This is often viewed by the court as a failure to protect the child from litigation stress and may lead the judge to restrict your communication on the basis of you not acting in your child’s best interest.
10. Failing to Document Significant Incidents
You could be left without evidence when you need it most if you fail to keep a log of missed visits or concerning behavior. The best way to protect yourself is to keep a factual calendar of events and log everything objectively as they happen.
Award-Winning Representation in Bryan
We understand the local courts and have a proven track record of protecting the rights of parents who have been in your shoes.
Whatever your case calls for, be it strategic mediation or aggressive litigation, our team at C. E. Borman & Associates will provide grounded guidance to help you through this season. Contact our firm today to schedule your consultation.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Who decides what’s in the best interest of my children in Texas?
A: Texas judges have to make decisions in the best interest of the child under the Texas Family Code § 153.002. With that, multiple factors, including your child’s physical and emotional needs and what kind of stability your home can offer them, are taken into account.
Q: Can my teenager choose which parent to live with?
A: Children 12 years or older in Texas can ask to speak with a judge about who they’d prefer to stay with and why, but their choice is not binding. Ultimately, the final custody decision rests on what the judge deems to be in the child’s best interest overall.
Q: Am I obligated to use the co-parenting app my ex wants me to use?
A: Unless your court order specifically mandates it, you aren’t legally required to use a specific app. Still, apps like Our Family Wizard are almost always recommended because they can help you two centralize calendars, expenses, and messages to avoid he-said/she-said disputes in the future.
Q: How long do custody cases take in Brazos County?
A: It really depends on how complex the matter is and how willing each party is to come to an agreement. When you’re both willing to compromise, it can be over and done with in just a couple months. It could even be dragged out for up to a year if your case goes to trial.
Q: Is it possible to change a custody order after it’s signed?
A: Yes, you can file for a modification if there has been a material/substantial change in circumstances for your child or either of the parents since the last order was signed. This usually happens when one is relocating, there’s been a change in the child’s needs, or one parent’s ability to provide a stable home is compromised.
Q: What happens if one parent stops following the visitation schedule?
A: The other parent could file a Motion for Enforcement, which is essentially asking the court to hold the non-compliant parent in contempt, which could lead to consequences like them paying a fine and making up visitation time with you.
