Because of various reasons such as financial or childcare, it sometimes makes the best sense, even when a couple is separated and going through a divorce, for the soon-to-be exes to still be in the family home. If you and your ex are finding yourself in this situation, it is a good idea to set some ground rules for this living situation. Our Texas divorce attorneys are providing tips on living together during your divorce.
How to live with your ex during your divorce
Before you decide that you are comfortable co-existing with your soon-to-be ex, you must sit down and discuss the ground rules for living together while you go through your divorce. In addition, having a family discussion with your children about your living situation and what can be expected from this arrangement is a good idea.
Set boundaries right away.
The first thing you have to do is set boundaries right away. These boundaries include sleeping arrangements, eating arrangements, family time, cooking, cleaning, childcare, school pick-up, etc. It’s also a good idea to write these boundaries down so that you have documentation of what you both discussed and agreed upon if a conflict arises.
Create a financial budget.
After your divorce is final, your finances will be different. Living together during your divorce can be a good starting point for figuring out your new financial budget. Household bills should be split between the two of you based on what is fair and similar to a roommate. It’s important to note that you should not make big purchases together as this could complicate your divorce.
Do not argue in front of the children.
Understandably, this is a complex living situation to decide to live with your ex while you are going through a divorce. However, to protect your children, you must try to be as cordial as possible. If a conflict arises, it’s best to discuss the issue while the children are not around. However, it’s ok to keep your conversations minimal.
Do not spend all your time together.
You may think it’s a good idea for the sake of the children to spend time together as a family. However, it can confuse your children and lead to more emotional issues once the divorce is final. They need to get used to the idea of you both co-parenting and not doing everything together as a family. Having your children see a family therapist during this transition may also be beneficial.
Do not bring your new partner into the family home.
It is not respectful to your ex-partner and your children to bring your new partner into the family home. Your new relationship should be separate and not shared with your ex-partner or your children. Having a new relationship can also add issues and complicate finalizing your divorce.
Self-care is essential.
Getting a divorce is a stressful and overwhelming time. Adding the complication of living with your ex during your divorce adds another layer of stress, even if you are on good terms. Therefore, ensuring you take care of yourself during this time is essential. When you are not with your children, take the time to keep yourself busy and be kind to yourself. Remember, this is only for a short moment of time.
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