People have a desire for companionship and they are willing to risk a lot for love. With 9 out of 10 Americans getting married at some point in their life, it seems like a good idea to get married. There are financial benefits and married couples are traditionally happier and more economically stable than their single, divorced, or separated counterparts. However, your marriage is in question and you’re facing a real dilemma.
A divorce or separation is hard to deal with regardless of how your separation goes down. This will feel deeply frustrating. You will want to argue over details, assign blame, and defend your actions … but here’s the truth: it really doesn’t matter any more. The kindest thing you can do for you and your spouse if divorce is what you want is to be very clear about your decision and be clear about what you want.
The Sooner the Better!
For whatever the reasons, wrapping your mind around the fact that you’re getting divorced (or even thinking of divorce) is not to be taken lightly. It’s traumatic! Deciding to divorce is one of the most crucial decisions you can make with consequences that last for years or even a lifetime.
Most couples who begin a divorce are unprepared and are often not even in agreement. Usually on some level there is a struggle to understand why it’s happening. You or both of you are not really ready for the divorce, but you know it is inevitable.
Why Consult A Divorce Attorney?
For divorce to be a collaborative and respectful process, you must be prepared and ready to separate your life from your spouse completely. For most people, taking the first step and making an appointment for an initial consult with a divorce attorney is a highly emotional experience. During this critical time of making your decision, you need to get prepared to do what it takes to finalize your divorce as quickly as possible so you can move on with your life.
Being prepared is key. When you attend the first meeting with a divorce attorney, plan to spend about an hour to discuss all your concerns and ask questions. It’s best to be organized and have a list of specific things you want to discuss during your appointment.
Questions to Ask Yourself
In addition to your list of questions, you should ask yourself the following questions:
- Who is the best divorce attorney to hire?
There are many general attorneys who practice in more than one area of family law such as adoption, estate planning, wills, and divorce. It’s important to do some research and identify the experienced divorce attorneys who have handled several divorce cases from start to finish. This will ensure the lawyer actually specializes in divorce and family law.
- Do I think my divorce is going to be high conflict or amicable?
Each lawyer has their own style of practice. Litigators are focused on the fight and want to win. Their experience is making your case in court. Sometimes, you have no choice but to fight it out in court. However, that may not necessarily be what’s best for you and your situation. A good attorney who’s reasonable, fair and looks to amicably resolve issues first is an attorney who will keep your interest in mind.
- How much legal work will be involved to make sure I get what I want?
The bottom line is that when you consult with a divorce attorney, you have an opportunity to get the facts and details all out on the table and start to understand how to best proceed with your divorce. It is a process in and of itself. Once you are prepared and ready, you will sooner be able to begin the divorce process.
Whether you are the one who wants the divorce or the one who is having to respond to your spouse wanting the divorce both situations have one thing in common, the marriage is ending. Being prepared and having a clear understanding of what you want from the marriage helps minimize the pain. In addition, the attitude you choose will determine the type of divorce you have.
ASK FOR HELP
Our experienced attorneys are here to help you with your divorce. Call for a consultation with one of our divorce attorneys and get the answers to all your questions. Contact the Family Law Firm of C.E. Borman & Associates at 979-846-4090 for an appointment.