Are You Really Ready for Divorce?

People have a desire for companionship and they are willing to risk a lot for love. With 9 out of 10 Americans getting married at some point in their life, it seems like a good idea to get married. There are financial benefits and married couples are traditionally happier and more economically stable than their single, divorced, or separated counterparts. However, your marriage is in question and you’re facing a real dilemma. A divorce or separation is hard to deal with regardless of how your separation goes down. This will feel deeply frustrating. You will want to argue over details, assign blame, and defend your actions … but here’s the truth: it really doesn’t matter any more. The kindest thing you can do for you and your spouse if divorce is what you want is to be very clear about your decision and be clear about what you want. The Sooner the Better! For whatever the reasons, wrapping your mind around the fact that you’re getting divorced (or even thinking of divorce) is not to be taken lightly. It’s traumatic! Deciding to divorce is one of the most crucial decisions you can make with consequences that last for years or even a lifetime. Most couples who begin a divorce are unprepared and are often not even in agreement. Usually on some level there is a struggle to understand why it’s happening. You or both of you are not really ready for the divorce, but you know it is inevitable. Why Consult A Divorce Attorney? For divorce to be a collaborative and respectful process, you must be prepared and ready to separate your...

After Your Divorce – Keep Moving Forward

Unless you’ve gone through a divorce before, it’s not very clear what you’re suppose to do after the divorce is final. You may be counting down to that marked day on the calendar when your divorce is final, and thinking all the conflict, cost and collateral damage will be over. While you’re waiting for that day to arrive you may dream of the day when it’s over and you can take a long vacation by the beach, relaxing and soaking up the sun. Why not! You certainly deserve a dream vacation after surviving the grueling process. The truth is no two marriages are alike. Just like no two divorces are alike. The divorce process will be similar no matter where you live. Most divorces can be very difficult and hard to deal with. Anyone going through a divorce will tell you it is like being on a roller coaster for a while, but it does get better after your divorce is over and you begin to create your separate life. To keep moving forward after your divorce, the first step is to get organized. Gather all your bills, a calculator, a pencil, a calendar, your checkbook and your divorce judgement. Blueprint Your Divorce Judgement Your divorce judgement says what is supposed to happen, but you are responsible for making it happen. To make matters more complicated, there is not one place to go to get it all done. You must separate your bank accounts, deal with your debt, and divide up your stuff. That means you are the one to cancel credit cards, fill out forms, request name and...

Overcome Anxiety and Navigate Through the Divorce

No matter the circumstances, divorces are among the most stressful, life-changing experiences that anyone can go through. Between 40 and 50% of married couples in the United States get a divorce. Couples may choose divorce for many reasons. Many times personal problems develop when divorce-related anxiety or depression is ignored and not dealt with properly and in a timely manner. Divorce is more than a legal process. It is emotional on many levels and causes distorted thoughts that lead to unhealthy negative emotions like depression, anger, fear and anxiety. Every decision from deciding to go through with your divorce to counting down the days until it is final has its stressful emotions. Some people describe the feeling as if they are in an endless space of doom and gloom — floating through life not knowing with no beginning, no end, and nothing but a big, dark mess left to show for it. This is what causes the feeling of being overwhelmed and the feelings of anxiety, sadness and anger. You can and will make it through this painful time. Things will get easier, but it takes time, patience, hard work, determination and a helping hand. But there are ways to deal with these emotions and the anxiety that comes from your divorce. For instance, when you can visualize these issues, you slow everything down and break up all the chaos into manageable pieces. By doing this, you will begin to feeling better.  The legal process itself has an end, but your feelings about the divorce will by no means go away tomorrow or next week. Understand that throughout the...

How Do You Emotionally Prepare for Divorce?

Knowing how to emotionally prepare for divorce is helpful because no one wants to experience the stress of a marriage breakup. If you can reduce the amount of stress involved, it is certainly to everyone’s benefit. Psychology Today explains that fear is big factor in stress. It’s the underlying factor that takes people on an emotional roller coaster ride. Even when you’ve been planning on divorce or have known for some time that your marriage was over, certain factors can produce fear. Steps to Reduce Emotional Stress and Emotionally Prepare for Divorce Here are four things the psychological experts recommend for dealing with divorce: Create financial strategies. Divorce involves a financial transition, and the sooner you face this fact, the better off you will be. Look at the financial factors of your situation, work out a strategy and accept that you must make changes. There is no point in being angry or locked into a hurt state of mind. It is best to deal with the situation and move on. Understand that you will have new opportunities to create financial resources for yourself. Start getting organized and making changes to get on with your life. Tune in as a parent. Many parents stay in an unhappy marriage because they fear divorce will mentally and emotionally harm their children. What harms children more than anything is being exposed to chronic anger or anxiety. If these emotions disappear with divorce, children are more stable. It’s important to remain empathetic to your children and tune in as a parent. Listen to their problems or concerns and let them know you understand. Let...