Blog on Divorce and Family Law
Learning some basic information about divorce and family law can help prepare you for the legal issues you face. Our attorneys believe that honest advice, straight talk and some basic legal knowledge can make a big difference. A legal issue is a two-sided coin ─ your side versus the other side. Our job is to apply our knowledge, skills and experience to help you get the results you want. However, that doesn’t mean there is no participation on your part. You have important decisions to make that affect your future. The better you understand, the better you are at making smart decisions.
We hope you find our blog useful. Of course, forming a client-attorney relationship is the only way to receive legal advice, and these posts are not intended as legal advice nor the establishment of a client-attorney relationship.
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After Your Divorce – Keep Moving Forward
Unless you’ve gone through a divorce before, it’s not very clear what you’re suppose to do after the divorce is final. You may be counting down to that marked day on the calendar when your divorce is final, and thinking all the conflict, cost and collateral damage will be over. While you’re waiting for that day to arrive you may dream of the day when it’s over and you can take a long vacation by the beach, relaxing and soaking up the sun. Why not! You certainly deserve a dream vacation after surviving the grueling process.
The truth is no two marriages are alike. Just like no two divorces are alike. The divorce process will be similar no matter where you live. Most divorces can be very difficult and hard to deal with. Anyone going through a divorce will tell you it is like being on a roller coaster for a while, but it does get better after your divorce is over and you begin to create your separate life.
To keep moving forward after your divorce, the first step is to get organized. Gather all your bills, a calculator, a pencil, a calendar, your checkbook and your divorce judgement.
Blueprint Your Divorce Judgement
Your divorce judgement says what is supposed to happen, but you are responsible for making it happen. To make matters more complicated, there is not one place to go to get it all done. You must separate your bank accounts, deal with your debt, and divide up your stuff. That means you are the one to cancel credit cards, fill out forms, request name and address changes, and gather what is needed from multiple offices, websites, and do whatever it takes to re-establish yourself as a separate entity.
Here is a checklist of important things to do to start separating your life after your divorce:
To-Do List After Your Divorce
- Change your name. If you plan to change your last name, you’ll need to get a certified copy of your divorce judgement immediately. Once you have it, change your name everywhere! Change your name on your driver’s license, your social security card, all your credit cards and bank statements, health insurance, investment accounts, insurance policies.
- Make a plan. Go through your divorce judgement and put deadlines in your calendar for all the important dates! Add to your list the things that are not in your judgement. Mark the calendar when money will be transferred to your accounts from retirement and other accounts, when your spouse is supposed to pay off any bills that are in your name and follow up to see it happened.
- Change passwords. Change your passwords on all your devices for personal email, business, banking and social media accounts.
- Cancel joint bank accounts. Cancel joint credit cards. If you still share a balance on a joint credit card with your ex, transfer that portion of any joint balances onto their own credit card, change authorized user access, and change beneficiary designation on your life insurance, 401(k)s, and any other with designated beneficiary
- List your property. Refinance the mortgage on the marital home and get a quitclaim deed to re-title your property. Gather all the transfer forms like titles to vehicles before the divorce. Then you’ll be ready to send them after your divorce is final.
- Make a new Will. and power of attorney for property and healthcare
- Get healthcare. If you don’t have your own health insurance when you get divorced, be sure to put this as a priority. There are deadlines that may apply for certain policies.
- Update kids contacts. List you and your former spouse’s names as contacts with your children’s schools and any other activities they are enrolled in at outside of school and church.
Although divorce proceedings may be over, the process to separate everything is just beginning. As the head of the household, it’s up to you to make sure that your entire family’s needs are being met. To do that, you need to be extremely diligent when it comes to your time and money management basics. It’s tempting to want to avoid thinking about more paperwork after your divorce is finalized. But the work you do after your divorce may be more important than everything leading up to it.
ASK FOR HELP
Dealing with your divorce may seem impossible, but you do not have to go it alone. Our experienced attorneys are here to help if you need it. Call for a private consultation with our family law attorney and get straight answers to all your questions. Contact the Family Law Firm of C.E. Borman & Associates at 979-846-4090 for an appointment.
Brazos County Standing Orders
When you have been served divorce papers, you have less than 30 days to deliver your written response in which you will either agree to the orders or file a counterclaim.
Getting divorced is never an easy process. It causes a lot of emotions and negative thoughts that may cloud your judgement when dealing with the legal responsibilities of the divorce process. You may feel panic, rage, and numbness or like you are going crazy. No matter the circumstances, you need to understand the legal constraints once a divorce petition is filed. Since you will have about 20 days from the time you were served to give your written response, or a default can be taken against you, it is important for you to meet with an experienced family law attorney who listens and helps you find your way through the pain and grieving to a clear and focused understanding of your legal rights and responsibilities.
It is important to protect your interests from the start of the process. The initial orders will include the divorce petition and information about the standing orders on your assets and behavior. Standing orders must be attached to any divorce petitions filed in the county and applies to the parties while the case is pending.
What is a standing order?
Standing orders have been adopted by the district courts of Brazos Valley as a code of conduct regarding the treatment of children and property during divorce. These orders may include a motion for temporary orders regarding custodial issues for minor children, child support, spousal support and use of the family home. The standing orders also allow a party to continue to maintain a reasonable lifestyle, spend what is needed for living expenses, and incur debt that is related to the case they’re involved in.
What is in a standing order?
In the broad sense, the standing orders are meant to prevent the parties from acting in a way that is harmful to others and property while a divorce is ongoing.
Most of the requirements in the standing orders are prohibiting behavior that you would get in trouble for regardless of whether there was an order telling you not to do each act — such as harming an animal, harassing or threatening the other party, causing bodily injury to a child or falsifying documents. Some of the other things prohibited by the standing orders are a limit on either party that prevents them from changing the school that any child involved in the case goes to or an order that bans the making of disparaging remarks regarding the other party within the presence of the child.
What does this mean for my case?
If you’re involved in a divorce case in Brazos County you are subject to the standing orders that have been attached to your petition. There can be serious consequences for failing to follow the standing orders. If you have any questions or concerns about your case, please contact C.E. Borman and Associates to discuss your divorce and how the standing order could impact your case.
Ask For Help
Dealing with your divorce may seem impossible, but you do not have to go it alone. Our experienced attorneys are here to help if you need it. Call for a private consultation with our family law attorney and get straight answers to all your questions. Contact the Family Law Firm of C.E. Borman & Associates at 979-846-4090 for an appointment.
Overcome Anxiety and Navigate Through the Divorce
No matter the circumstances, divorces are among the most stressful, life-changing experiences that anyone can go through. Between 40 and 50% of married couples in the United States get a divorce. Couples may choose divorce for many reasons. Many times personal problems develop when divorce-related anxiety or depression is ignored and not dealt with properly and in a timely manner.
Divorce is more than a legal process. It is emotional on many levels and causes distorted thoughts that lead to unhealthy negative emotions like depression, anger, fear and anxiety. Every decision from deciding to go through with your divorce to counting down the days until it is final has its stressful emotions. Some people describe the feeling as if they are in an endless space of doom and gloom — floating through life not knowing with no beginning, no end, and nothing but a big, dark mess left to show for it. This is what causes the feeling of being overwhelmed and the feelings of anxiety, sadness and anger.
You can and will make it through this painful time. Things will get easier, but it takes time, patience, hard work, determination and a helping hand.
But there are ways to deal with these emotions and the anxiety that comes from your divorce. For instance, when you can visualize these issues, you slow everything down and break up all the chaos into manageable pieces. By doing this, you will begin to feeling better. The legal process itself has an end, but your feelings about the divorce will by no means go away tomorrow or next week.
Understand that throughout the divorce process there are different levels of anxiety. In the beginning, the thoughts of getting your divorce seem impossible to deal with when thinking about your future. However, you can and will make it through this painful time. Things will get easier, but it takes time, patience, hard work, determination and a helping hand.
The best way to prepare you to navigate through this hectic and chaotic time is to put your thoughts in writing. When you visualize, follow a process and write down on a piece of paper what you’re dealing with on each level:
Identify divorce issues that need resolution
Couples often cite multiple reasons rather than one single problem. Some of the most common for divorce are lack of commitment, communication issues or a tendency to argue, addiction, financial problems, and abuse. Feeling better starts with you. An optimistic versus catastrophic thinking style can be a determining factor in how you and your child cope with the divorce.
List sub-issues that may encompass the overall issue
It is a common scenario where one partner exhibits behavior that the other partner finally decides is too much to endure. For example, some couples divorce because of infidelity, and for others, infidelity is something that happened at the end of years of other problems such as nasty conflicts, growing apart, and substance abuse. Making a list of all the ways you have grown apart as a couple helps with the process of thinking through the anxiety and dealing with separation.
Rank the importance of the listed issues
Without focus, all issues seem equally important. Taking time to set priorities will ensure that you direct your energy and resources to the most important issues. The process of writing down difficult emotional issues is beneficial to managing the stress and anxiety of a divorce and keeps the focus on what is most important.
In addition to getting help from a mental health professional or a doctor, you may want to discuss divorce-related legal issues (such as, child custody and support, alimony and division of property) with an experienced family law attorney who can advise you of your legal rights and responsibilities and help guide you through the decision-making process.
Ask For Help
The road may seem lonely and bleak, but you do not have to go it alone. Get help if you need it and speak with our family law attorney to answer your questions about your legal rights or the divorce process. Contact the Family Law Firm of C.E. Borman & Associates at 979-846-4090 for an appointment.
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At C.E. Borman & Associates, we put our hard won experience to work for you. Call (979) 846-4090 or contact us online to talk about your legal concerns.
We offer legal services to clients in Brazos, Robertson, Madison, Burleson, Grimes, Washington, Austin, Lee and Leon counties.
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Excellence & Experience
C.E. Borman & Associates has been selected for the 2014 College Station Best Businesses Award for Divorce & Family Law
Channa has been nominated for Best Attorney in the Best of the Brazos Valley campaign for 2010 through 2013
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