In episode three of the Straight Talk, Honest Advice podcast, Taking Back Control of Your Emotions, Channa is joined by Jason Fort, a Licensed Professional Counselor. Jason is a wise counselor who has guided C.E. Borman’s clients and changed their perspectives on their spouses, parenting, and life. Listen in as they explore a variety of psychological influences on divorce and many factors relating to the difficult decision. Jason shares powerful tips for anyone in the midst of a divorce or thinking about one. Jason also discusses insightful ways to take back control of your emotions and life. You won’t want to miss this enlightening chat that could change the way you think.
Below is a summary of the highlights discussed in the episode.
Episode 3: Taking Back Control of Your Emotions
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Jason’s Counseling process (01:10 – 07:12)
The way I view counseling is that I’m a tourist, and my client is the tour guide, and they are taking me on a tour of their life. For example, I’ll ask if that is that supposed to be a dumpster fire. I know that that pothole is a gift from your mother, but you get a flat tire every third time we hit it, so can we fix that? It is essential for my clients to understand that I’m not here to control them and not here to direct their life. I’m certainly not here to say that I know best, but what I am here to say is okay, so there are these flaws in thinking, and there’s this mismatch between what you believe and what is actually happening.
Being Picky When Choosing Counselors/Lawyers (07:12 – 09:48)
You should be picky when picking your lawyer and even more or equally particular when choosing your therapist. For six weeks to possibly three to four years, you are inviting me into the deeper darkest parts of your life. So you need to have trust in your therapist. Most psychologists and marriage and family therapists will provide a free consultation, so you can call and get a “vibe” check. You can get an understanding of who they are and how they practice.
Common Fears and Anxieties with Divorce Decisions (09:48 – 13:35)
The most common fears are what I will do for housing and what my finances will look like. There is also anxiety about what the next week or the next month will look like. There is also the stigma that comes with a divorce from family and friends.
Knowing Your Options and The Why (13:35 – 16:38)
It’s essential that you need to be honest with yourself and have clarity as to why you want to get a divorce.
Taking Control of Your Feelings and Emotions (16:38 – 22:58)
I encourage people to find someone to help them. Before you divorce, you should separate for a while and find a way to communicate your feelings to your spouse and what is causing you to struggle or to be unhappy. You need to figure out what is causing your emotion and misconnection.
Why to Maintain an Amicable Divorce for Children (22:58 – 27:52)
Research shows that if two functioning people can help and assist and nurture the children, they do better than in single-parent homes. However, if we have a child in a two-person two-parent home that is volatile, abusive, or aggressive, the child could have a lot of trauma that predicts many negative things for the rest of their life. So, it’s important to remember it is not necessarily the child’s age but the situation for the child and how you can explain the situation to the child.
Advice For Those in Violent Relationships with Children (27:52 – 30:57)
Safety should be the most significant factor for your child. When safety becomes a risk, start looking for resources. Who are my people who can help, and what are your options? There are resources available.
The Difference Between Sub-Optimal and Dangerous (30:57 – 33:38)
Understand the difference between sub-optimal and dangerous. You need to make that decision yourself because the law isn’t always clear on neglect and abuse. Therefore, you have to ask yourself, will someone get injured, suffer, or die as a result of the behavior? Yes or no.
Episode 3: Taking Back Control of Your Emotions
Listen to the Straight Talk, Honest Advice podcast here;
About Channa Borman
Channa Borman is a family law attorney who provides straight talk and honest advice on divorce and other family law issues. In this podcast, she discusses various legal topics and offers practical, timely tips for people dealing with these difficult situations. Guests will include clients Channa has advised, and they will share their experiences with divorce. Topics will include unexpected hardships, co-parenting, and long-term life changes resulting from this decision. Channa will also be joined by colleagues such as divorce counselors, moderators, other family law attorneys, and subject matter experts.
Channa Borman is the CEO/Founding Attorney of C.E. Borman & Associates and has been practicing law for over 20 years. She has received many awards, including the “Top 100” Trial Lawyer in America by the Association of American Trial Lawyers.
She is also very involved with the Brazos community by teaching in the Blinn College Paralegal Studies Department, has served as the coordinator and volunteer attorney for the Brazos Interfaith Immigration Network’s immigrant community outreach project, has volunteered with the Girl Scouts of Central Texas, and has participated in many other community outreach programs.
With her expertise in the legal field and the first-hand experiences of the guests, this podcast will be great to tune into for anyone interested in family matters.
If you’re in a similar phase in your life or you have questions, please reach out to us at straight.talk.honestadvice@gmail.com
